33 weeks 5 days

As of lately I have been just so exhausted. We are approaching week 34 and I am just getting more uncomfortable. Sleeping on my right side is more comfortable to sleep on with the pillow in between my legs. My appetite is about the same I just really want to sleep. I never feel rested. I did have some energy when we got out this past weekend to Chad’s moms for mothers day. The heat was draining thought but we had a good time and I was happy to be out and feel energy.

Baby is kind of all over the place. I am having a lot of period like cramps which even being my 4th kid I have to question if I am having contractions. Pretty sure these are contractions since they seem to be continuous and not easing when I move. Before it just felt like some tightening on my uterus that didn’t last. As long as baby stays in there for another 3 weeks(as of Friday) They won’t stop labor, they will go ahead and take the baby out.

I have to admit though, I am in a constant panic of my uterus rupturing. I am terrified that I won’t know and me and baby will be at serious risks. Being this is my 4th c-section baby and they thought I was going to have one with Camryn, I get very worried. I shouldn’t, but you really don’t know how much your uterus can hold after it has been cut open that many times. Its a whole new ball game for me this time. The anxiety takes away from joy at times and that isn’t fair.

I am still stressed about having things for the baby… I really don’t know why. I just really wanted to be more prepared. Believe me, regardless how many items you have, clothes you have, binkies, bottles, socks, shoes, bows, hats and so forth, you are never 100% ready to have a baby. But, I really wanted to have all new everything for this baby. But I was able to go through the old clothes I have of Camryn and Christian’s and found nb and 0-3 month clothing so I washed what I had. Found my girl bopee cover and my breast feeding drape. I found the other bopee my dad had bought me while I was in the hospital with Christian and that one is solely for breastfeeding and wraps around your waste and snaps. pretty nifty but I definintely LOVE the original bopee, it comes in handy for a LOOOOONG time. I actually have to hide the one we have because these two will play with it constantly lol. The thing is, I am sure I have said this over and over again in previous posts but I am just going off of what is on my mind right now, this baby is going to be born in June… I won’t need many clothing items. White and Grey onesies would work perfectly with some shorts and socks. I have been looking at grey and white sleepers, receiving blankets, I need bottles( I will be breastfeeding but I love using Avent or Dr. Brown bottles when I heat the breast milk.), binkies, a swing, a mattress for the crib which to be honest the baby won’t be in it until around 4-6 months but I just wanted to be prepared.

I plan to breastfeed for at least 6 months…. and I know that will be a struggle. I know that with Clay, I had to pump and that was hard to keep up with. Camryn was hard because Chad ended up in the hospital when she was 2 weeks old and I got our schedule messed up with being back and forth in the hospital with him. Christian… I think that was more diet related but I was not producing enough for him to get enough from me. He was my biggest baby all the way through even to now though. So I am hoping this baby I can have a much healthier diet. I do know that taking Greens will help with making more milk which is awesome because I have numerous containers from when I was selling it works! and I actually really like it blended in protein shakes or fruit smoothies etc. Anyway I can get them I will take them. I do have 2 pumps already but was looking into getting another free one to try through insurance. I should look into that.

I don’t think I have gained any if much more weight from my last dr appointment. I had stopped eating a bunch of things that would be a factor in weight gain…but then Chad bought me a cheesecake, and ice cream and cookies. I love them all but goodness. Lol. I will find out Monday since I had to reschedule. I don’t have a vehicle right now so I am just kind of getting where I can when I can. I am supposed to have an echo done on the baby too and I can’t get there. It is so frustrating not having my own running vehicle. Luckily my sister in law helps me a TON.

We are also gearing up for a mostly tech free summer with my neice (9) and nephew(11) who will be spending their days with my 2 and 3 years old. Which I will have a running vehicle soon so I won’t have much to worry about. We can get out and go to the parks, meet up with Chad’s mom for the Zoo, maybe go get ice cream… do things. Get out. But the older 2 are going to do activities with my 2 which will be wonderful when the baby comes. I am HOPING  they will be able to distract them enough that I won’t have to worry much about my stomach for the first few weeks. I know Christian right now is all about being up in my lap and things and my dogs are all about wanting to jump up when we get home and they are excited. I am trying to teach my puppy to calm down when she sees me and listen to my commands. Sophie is my chi and she is so tiny her little body won’t hurt anything LOL but these 2 are going to be new territory for me. My sharpei boxer and boxer/husky-pitt mix love to jump and get all rowdy when they are excited. Soooo hopefully I can teach them when I say certain things to listen. or I will walk in with my foam bat that I use to scare them out of what they shouldn’t be into (LOLOLOLOLOL). On top of my dogs, I am trying to teach Christian to walk to bed at night instead of being carried. Which he is my baby so I wanted to baby him as long as possible before this baby but I may have shot myself in the foot a little with it. I am sure everything will be okay, I just panic and stress about things that really may not need to be worried about. I am sure the dogs will be very protective of the baby and the babes will love the new baby just as much as we do. I just won’t know until the day comes.

I better stop here. I could go for hours on nonsense and I have things to clean, laundry to put away and start a load and get myself put together to feel a little more energized. I will do a 34 weeks update just not sure if it will be this Friday or Monday after my appointment.

Until next time,

-Me

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